…and my thoughts (spoiler alert) on dating apps.
Today is our 3 year wedding anniversary. It feels like a good time to share the longer version of a story I told for the first time during our wedding weekend.
In May 2015 I went on a Birthright trip to Israel. I was fully convinced I was going to meet my future husband on this trip. That’s the whole point of going on a birthright trip right?
The tradition while visiting the Kotel or Western Wall is to write notes or prayers on little pieces of papers and place them in the cracks in the wall. Our group took some time before visiting to write out notes. Some people seemed to be writing paragraphs. I sat for a while and thought about what to write. I ended up writing one word.
Love
When I came back to America husband-less, I decided it was time to give online/app dating another try.
I signed up for jdate with my dad’s credit card. (He said it was a good investment). And downloaded the jswipe app. I’m pretty sure they’re the same company these days but they were completely separate at the time.
I matched with some NJBs and went on a few dates. But I pretty quickly remembered why I stopped using dating apps a few months before. I met some nice guys, some boring guys, some guys that were way too into themselves…
Dating can be fun if you’re just looking for fun. But dating is also hard when you have a goal. And I was searching for my future husband.
One Sunday I matched with a cutie named Jon. He started with his now famous pickup line “I like your curly hair.” This might seem like a shallow compliment on my looks. Which I guess is really all you can go off of with the limited info in an app profile. But for a girl who spent a lone time hating her curly hair. And spend years learning to love it, this compliment was really a guy telling me he likes me for who I am.
We messaged back and forth. He told me about his fun weekend at the beach with friends. I complained about my boring weekend because my friends were all busy.
And we decided to meet in person the next day.
At the time we lived about an hour and fifteen minutes away from each other. But that Monday night Jon had a practice scheduled with his band. The rehearsal studio was a good halfway point for us. We planned to meet for a beer at a hipster burger spot and if that went well, I’d watch his band practice.
Before our date, I remember having dinner with my roommate-parents and questioning going on the date. I had been on so many bad dates. This guy lived so far away. I was sure it was just going to be a waste of time. I was just so over dating. Obviously none of this was Jon’s fault, more just my frustrations with previous dates. And the fact that I still was husband-less a month and a half after my birthright trip.
But after meeting Jon, everything changed.
Yes, I stayed to watch his band practice. And every time he would look over at me, he had the cutest smile on his face. Later that week I was showing my mom his pictures and gushing over how handsome he is.
I deleted my dating apps. And I canceled my date subscription.
I knew my prayer at the wall was answered.
My thoughts on dating apps:
Let me preface this with these are my thoughts pre-pandemic. I have no idea what dating is like these days and honestly it seems terrifying.
I know people don’t like dating apps or are hesitant to use them. And I know we’ve all probably had some bad experience with dating apps. Been ghosted. Or catfished. Or matched with the guy who keeps asking to add you on snapchat. (That’s still a thing right?)
But…
Dating apps are a way to meet people you would never have met any other way.
Like I said, Jon and I lived over an hour away from each other. We had zero connections or mutual friends. We would not have met any other way.
I fully believe we were supposed to meet. And a dating app (jswipe) is what we needed to meet.
(I mean hello. Have you seen how cute our baby is?)
I think dating apps give you endless opportunities to meet someone. Which can be a good or bad thing. When you can just swipe all day long, its easy to think there is always someone better out there.
Obviously my story isn’t everyone’s story. I always think of the book/movie He’s Just Not That Into You. Maybe my story is the exception, not the rule. But you won’t know til you try.
